Monday, February 18, 2013

To Be Or Not To Be

Making your own choices. Following your dreams. Being what you want to be.
In the Indian context, I think it's easier said than done.

In a place like India where parents continue to play a major role in decision-making, are we really free to make our own choices? Yes, if that involves you choosing to take up a big paying job or pursue an MBA. Yes. But what if we decide to stray from the mainstream and want to do something else? What then?
Can we really make our choice freely in such a scenario?

In very few cases, really supportive parents will come forward and put their faith in their kids' decisions.
In most cases, however, parents will do all they can to stop their children from following their dreams.

I think most of us have, at some point, wanted to be something but were told to shut up and be what mamma-papa think we should be.
No amount of convincing would work. Our words would fall on deaf ears. We would be told that we are stupid and that they have lived far longer than us to know what's good and what's not.

So how does one deal with this?  How far does one go to pursue his/her dreams? What price are we willing to pay?
Make our own decisions at the cost of destroying our relationship with the parents? But then imagine giving up on your dreams because of your parents. What kind of a relationship will you have with your parents then? Won't you have a grudge? Won't you blame them for any failure that you might encounter? I would. I definitely would.

My parents and I are warring these days on what I should do and what I shouldn't. And at the moment, I feel more sad than angry. I feel sad because I wish my parents would understand me a little better. I wish they would try to understand my aspirations. But life's a bitch. We can't change our parents. We can't do anything about them. We are stuck with them as much as they might feel stuck with us.

Them and Me

This life is yours, they say
But it is not for you to decide
What becomes of this life of yours.

What gives you happiness
You cannot choose.
The pain and sorrow
We will pick them for you.

We gave birth to you.
We brought you up.
You are indebted to us till the end of time,
Forever to follow our wishes and dreams
And what we think is best for you.

You are naive, you do not know.
You can't decide what's right and wrong.
You disappoint us time and again.

Don't do this, don't do that.
This is good, this is bad.
They tell me I am not to trust.

They leave no room for me
To breathe and to grow my wings.
And I die a little each day.

They say they want to give me happiness
But all they give me are feelings
Of loneliness and pain.